From my horoscope today: 
Are you using humor to hide your pain and your fear? 

Fuck off. 

*

Cramming time: 
(1) off to Cebuano studies centre to look up books on Leon Kilat. Our history is rife with betrayals! It makes you want to laugh.
(2) Finish reading Mojares' "Society in Theatre". Excellent scholarship. To be a historian one must have (I realize) a fetish for detail. 
(3) Interview nic for hendry. Lord give me an angle (and grant me the poise to survive this interview without giving a fan-girl squeak)  
(4)  Go drinking. I swear this has been the most sober trip back home. 

* 

In the end, who needs a brass band and a trail of weeping loves, when the road goes straight to that hole of flowers. 

* 

History, I swear, is the biggest biggest joke. 

Because frankly speaking, heroes would be NOTHING without their arch-enemies. Kevin Spacey was great! Superman Returns was amazing! (sorry cliche ha. wala akong ibang maisip na adjective). Favorite parts: (1) The iconic opening of the shirt to reveal the S! (sssssss) (2) the young Clark Kent jumping over the fields of Smallville (hay, almost in tears akoh!) (3) The music at the start and the first few minutes where Jor-El is talking (hay, father issues! I already loved it, right from the start!) (4) Lois Lane IGNORING clark kent (I don't remember it to be THIS bad, but MAN! Ang mean nya! And clark was just... martyr! ganda.) (5) As cheesy as it sounds yes: Clark and Lois Lane in the air, flying. Made me realize that more than anything, Superman REturns is an opera! Sayang lang walang "Can you Read my Mind" ! Arg. hehe 

Other random shit: 
(1) spent whole of tuesday watching last season of Queer as Folk. (OF COURSE, I used the forward button. Lots and lots. haha) 
(2) CAN'T seem to get to the end of name of the rose. Beginning to bore me. 
(3) Re-reading Resil Mojares' History of Cebuano Literature: this guy's amazing. I want to get my hands on the original spanish Fr. Alcina's "Encylopeida de la lengua zebuana" (need to the check the spelling. hehe 
(4) and what's left to complete any cebu visit, but a trip to teh aerobics class. Sorry dears. Last zebuana standing ako! May sprained ankle pa yan! No fainting spells this time. HAH! 

Back to Manila in a few days. Lord no no no not yet! I still want my bottomless fried chicken here at home!!!!!! 

To all the girls....

To all the girls in my life! Past, Present, and Future Pefect (dapat)! KAYA NYONG LAHAT YAN!!!!! Parang Uranus retrograde is being tough on all of you! (just set me up with someone hot after everything ha?) Labs you all!

Pan de Sal and all that Looove!

Sometimes, 80's love songs are the BEST. No. 80's love songs are ALWAYS the best! Spent the whole afternoon yesterday reading at east/west. (For you manila peeps, it's a cafe that's a block or  two away from my old grade school. And yes, I think, it was inspired by Salman Rushdie's book of stories [story book?]) And the background music to all the pretentious discourse on the body and sensus communis was exactly that: unrequited love, undying love, basta LOVE! GANDA! Allowed me to breeze through three chapters, two cups of coffee (no sleep later that night), and a guy on a bike selling pan de sal (biking biking biking! bilis niya!) 

New judgments on literature: 
1. I think the reason why people don't read poetry is because a lot of the poetry that's being written these days (and have been written in tihe past) is boring. 
2. Fatima-Lim in Crossing the Snow Bridge lies. She just lies. I felt I was lied to. 
3. Ok, so I'm guilty (re: #1) and am glad I finally realized (re:#2). So god, put me in a box, load me on a truck of watermelons, and sell me to the next cliche that walks by! Buy one take one na. Please. Para bilis.  

Old new light

It's nice seeing old friends in a new light. Or make it old light because this was the light of sunny June Cebu. And make it real nice when these friends are kitkat and paolo! Picked them up at the airport today. Had breakfast at the heart of cebu's newly found call-center district! (Couldn't think of any other place where there was a great view of.... grass.) And dropped them off at the north cebu bus terminal. First time for kitkat here, first time for me in the bus terminal. And they're off to Maya. The north. On an unairconditioned bus (prelimenary suntan!) To take a boat ride to malapascua! 

Will see them back in the city on Monday before they leave for Manila. Send-off on the dust of the south, and the haze of love! 
 

You wake up and the whole world's changed. You don't recognize what's playing in the radio. Nobody listens to the radio anymore. People you think you knew talk differently, dress differently, wear wigs, talk gibberish, pretend they're people they're not, are actually the people you no longer know. I wake after years of sleep. Nostalgia betrays. In the basement of a neighbor's house is an old couch. The outline of a man. A dead bulb of light. 

A Joooon Cebooooo

I'll be heading to Cebu on tuesday for my dad's birthday. Ingat kayo Manila boys and girls. Cebu here I come! I'll see everyone soon.