December arrives!!
And I love how I'm about to leave for home!
posted by slowmotion @ 11:23 PM
2 comments
Sunday, December 03, 2006
And I love how I'm about to leave for home!
About Me
- Name: slowmotion
"Bullfighting, it seems to me, gives us a clue. Kill the beast by all means, they say, but make it a contest, a ritual, and honour your antagonist for his strength adn bravery. eat him too, after you have vanquished him. Look him in the eyes before you kill him, and thank him afterwards. Sing songs about him.
2 Comments:
RE: Sunstar Article
Hey Larry--
Yes. Yes to living on the border. It's great- how we can cross the many, many sides, not only of people, but inside ourselves. Because different people bring out different aspects of our personality. Except, like any European state would tell you, the borders shift. Who draws it? Who's the gatekeeper? Borders imply a consensus, and consensus is always elusive. Self-definition. Inclusion and exclusion. Pillage and burn. And then redraw the boundaries, sign the treaty.
I find that it gets lonely. I can't explain it. I don't know if I'm a loner who has many friends, or a friendly person who's just inevitably alone. All I know is that I don't want to live the rest of my life like this, like I'm an aggregate, whether or not it's pearl calcium bicarbonate or limestone landscape- it's hard.
I have this recurring dream wherein I'm walking down a hallway. Kind of like a hotel hallway in The Shining. Not diabolically so, but bare, white, and clinical. Doors left and right. I open one door and it opens to a room in my old house. My family is there. I open the next door and it's a high school classroom. The next door opens to Canada. And so on and so forth. Everyone I know is somehow segregated to a particular room. Nobody knows the others exist. I'm not the same person to these people. God knows how differently they see me; it's almost laughable just how different. Eventually I sit alone in the middle of the hallway.
It's kind of what I've been doing, even with blogs, I guess.
Larry, you ever think about finding the man who could cross those borders with you? The man who can look at you the same way no matter if it's the high school you or the college you or the med school you or the literary world you or however many Larrys there are. The man who crosses the borders inside you too. If you believe in that sort of thing in the first place. The man who knows you outside the roles you enact, maybe. Perhaps the quest for a "singular identity" is elusive, but it is a certain grace to be known so well by someone. Or maybe I'm just damn idealistic.
Sometimes I wonder what it's like to not be a part of my life. The Others. I wonder if they occupy a bigger hidden room, just waiting to be segregated too.
This writing community? I guess I don't know exactly how huge it is. The writing circle in Cebu tends to be fairly small and strangely amiable that I call it incestous. Glitterary chismis on a national level (and it's easy to assume that "national level" means Manila), however, can be brutal. But that's how it always is, anywhere. I have yet to meet anyone who belongs to an English Department in Canada who's not willing to scratch out Margaret Atwood's eyes, hahaha.
Drama drama drama drama drama chameleon, it comes and goes-
Frances
Larry,
Frances' comment is wonderful and now I'm really intrigued. Do you have a link to the sunstar article she had mentioned - about living on the border?
it's a fascinating subject and i'd written a blog entry about it:
http://personalwilli.blogspot.com/2006/10/merky-lost-translator.html
happy holidays!
Willi
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